Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Careerist speaks of her two abortions

Penelope Trunk:

So the second time I got pregnant, I thought of killing myself. My career was soaring. I was 30 and I felt like I had everything going for me – great job, great boyfriend, and finally, for the first time ever, I had enough money to support myself. I hated that I put myself in the position of either losing all that or killing a baby.


I got two abortions to preserve my career. To keep my options open. To keep my aspirations within reach.

I bought into the idea that kids undermine your ability to build an amazing career.

And here I am, with the amazing career.

But also, here I am with two kids. So I know a bit about having kids and a career. And I want to tell you something: You don’t need to get an abortion to have a big career. Women who want big careers want them because something deep inside you drives you to change the world, lead a revolution, break new barriers.

It doesn’t matter whether you have kids now or later, because they will always make your career more difficult. There is no time in your life when you are so stable in your work that kids won’t create an earthquake underneath that confidence.

I think that she might be understating the effect of children on careers.

I agree with her that having kids doesn't necessarily prevent a woman from building a career. But being a mom is a full-time job, and when you're a mom, you tend to put career second.

That being said, I agree with her that when you have drive, the kids won't stop you. Look at me. I'm very devoted to the idea of staying home with the children and taking care of them.

But I also have a lot of drive. I just couldn't simply be a mom and nothing else. So I've built up this blog and a "career" in pro-life activism-- if you want to call it that.

I wish I had known in high school that this was possible-- being a stay-at-home mom, while fulfilling my passions, in spite of the lack of a paycheque. Of course, this was before the Internet.

Between being a full-time working mother slaving 40 hours or more at the office and being a stay-at-home mom devoted uniquely to raising children and doing housework, there is a lot of "in-between". You don't have to be just one thing.

This is where I get annoyed with this barefoot-and-pregnant so-con stereotype.

There are a lot of women out there who manage to create fulfilling lives while having kids and being moms.

Without having abortions.