Saturday, July 24, 2010

Why Monogamy?

St. Thomas Aquinas knew the problem with polygamy:

A study by advocacy group Sisters in Islam (SIS) found that the majority of first wives and children in polygamous families were unhappy with the arrangement.


"Generally, it is due to the fact that their right to demand (time and money) from their husband has decreased because their father now has another family," SIS researcher Syarifatul Adibah Mohamad Jodi told reporters.


However, husbands were not entirely happy with the situation, either. Many of those surveyed said they found it "most difficult to fulfill the needs of the first wife and their children".

Some people say that men are "naturally polygamous".

By that, they mean that men tend towards having sex with multiple partners.

But when it comes to forming relationships and families, men are NOT naturally polygamous.

One set of wife and kids is hard enough to manage without setting up another household.

You just don't have the time or the energy to devote yourself as you should to all the parties involved.

It's like signing up to be an absentee dad.

When you can't completely focus on one relationship, that relationship is more likely to fail.

That's why polygamy is a relationship that is largely based on reproduction and money.

Nothing wrong with reproduction or money. But reproduction and money do not a relationship make. Emotional fulfillment almost surely suffers.

If you're the first wife, and your husband finds another wife, you will feel like your love and loyalty was all for naught. You will feel gipped.

From a public policy standpoint, it makes no sense for the state to recognize polygamy. Polygamy does not ensure the optimal conditions for raising children, the future citizens of the state.

I know that many people will blindly advocate for polygamy on the foolhardy notion that the State should just recognize anything that the people want to do-- and not examine the nature of the issue or the possible outcomes.

When it comes to sex-related matters, people don't want to actually oppose the more libertine opinion. It can set you up for being ridiculed as some kind of prude.

These "prudes"-- hard-working, married, monogamous, faithful people are the happiest people in society. They can't be that stupid.