Friday, January 30, 2009

How the faceless and amoral world of cyberspace has created a deeply disturbing... generation SEX

Olivia Lichenstein mourns the loss of boundaries among teenage girls.

So how much are the parents to blame? Those of us who grew up in the Sixties and Seventies will do almost anything to appear ‘cool’ to our children; we certainly don’t wish to come across as some sort of Mary Whitehouse scandalised by today’s youth.

Nor do we wish to appear as joyless, men-hating feminists, although many of us remember that we fought hard for the right to do as men have always done.

One can’t help but wonder what happened to feminism and its lessons. On the one hand, girls drink like men; on the other they dress in a manner that invites sexual objectification. Do these young girls even know what feminism is

Feminism and its lessons?

It pushed sexual libertinism and mocked people who denounced promiscuity and now we wonder why we're in a mess?

According to a sample group of 17-year-olds I spoke to, there is an enormous double standard between the sexes. Boys treat sex as being a sign of ‘laddishness’ and masculinity, they say; promiscuous behaviour on their part is an achievement.

Girls, on the other hand, are caught between a rock and a hard place.

‘Boys demand that they go further before they are ready; if they do, they’ll quickly be labelled as sluts, and gain a reputation as an easy target, so that drunk boys will seek them expecting that they’ll be easy to get off with,’ says one.

‘If they don’t, they’ll be labelled as frigid and become instantaneously unattractive; most boys won’t bother investing time and energy flirting with a girl if they think there is little prospect of pulling.’

What rock and a hard place?

Why the f*ck are girls looking to hook up with these guys in the first place?

There is only one word for a guy who wants a girl to slut around: a**hole.

Why would you want to date an a**hole?

Maybe because you think you're so cheap to begin with?

Feminists keep denouncing the double standard. But the way they wish to rectify the situation is to lower the standard for girls instead of raising the standard for men.

Here's an idea: don't like the double standard? Just don't take that crap.

I never had to worry about the double standard in high school. It did not apply to me. I never worried about a**holes who thought I was unattractive for that reason (if they ever did-- I never thought about it) because such people were unattractive to me.

Pretty simple.

Somebody teach the girls the truth: you are better than that! Do not sell yourself cheap.

People should be drilling these rules into girls' heads.

Instead, we just accept that teenagers will have sex. Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls.

And we wonder why we're in this mess. We make like teenagers can deal with these things.

‘Parents should take back some of the control they’ve ceded. We don’t say “no” enough, so vulnerable girls don’t have enough experience of saying “no” themselves

Exactly. What the hell are teens doing drinking alcohol?

And yes, I know that alcohol is rampant. That still doesn't make it okay. Parents know about the drinking. Many have just resigned themselves to the fact and some even buy the alcohol for their kids.

Do they not realize their kids will do things they will regret-- maybe for the rest of their lives-- if they are drunk and unsupervised?

Does no one stop and think of these things?

This is not to say that we should be condemning teenagers for being sexual and proposing that they take chastity vows and attend purity balls as is fashionable in parts of the U.S.

Well, how's that sexual thing workin' for them?

Seriously, why would you let your kid engage in behaviour the consequences they are unable to deal with?

We keep thinking that teenagers are able to predict consequences and deal with them. They're not. That's what adults are capable of (some of them). That's why teenagers not adults yet.

The columnist seems to be worried about how promiscuity is so public now.

Why would it be more okay if it were in private, like when I was in high school?

It was still humiliating. It was still hurtful and destroyed self-esteem. Sure, maybe it wouldn't ruin your future career. But why shouldn't this stuff be avoided?

We lie to ourselves a lot. We're too afraid of being old and stodgy.

Old and stodgy gets your through adolescence in tact. The old and stodgy kids didn't get STD's and they didn't end up pregnant.

And another thing:

I talked a lot about girls. But what about raising men to be gentlemen--

to not want to take advantage of a girl in the first place?

Girls are secretly dying for this. I know. They might seem liberated. Most girls aren't.