Thursday, June 07, 2007

Two UK Moms talk about their abortions

There is so much to comment on this article. I'll try to keep it brief.

When I told him what had happened, he turned against me. I think it was the fear of commitment.

We need to re-educate men-- that they can't wiggle out of commitment like that. That's absolutely vile.

But I came under huge parental pressure to have a termination, something that doesn't happen today.

Are you kidding? It happens a LOT.

She was worried about what people would say, and even told me no man would ever want me if I came with a child in tow.

While she lectured me, I simply sat and listened. I've often looked back at that difficult conversation and wished I'd known then what I do now.

Plenty of men are happy to be stepfathers, but with my mother's words ringing in my ears and thinking I'd never get a boyfriend again, I decided to have a termination.

This is another thing that pisses me off. Women must learn that if the guy doesn't want you, you don't want him.. Women need more emotional stamina to be able to say to themselves: so a man doesn't want me? Fine, I'll find happiness some other way. I find men actually respect that kind of emotional independence. There's nothing wrong with wanting to find a man-- quite the opposite, actually. But one's self-esteem and happiness shouldn't rest on that prospect.

Naturally, I was worried about her and couldn't think of anything worse than her following in my footsteps.

I immediately feared for her well-being, and the last thing I wanted was for her to endure the heartache I had.

The first thing I told Sarah was that I would support her in whatever she decided to do. Ultimately, the woman having the abortion has to live with it, so I really felt she shouldn't be influenced by me as I had been swayed by my mother.

She shouldn't be influenced? You had a bad experience, don't you think the kid should learn from it?

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