Thursday, July 09, 2009

One woman shares her abortion experience

All the clich├ęs are there, but she insists that she does not regret her abortion.

The dating of her life before and after the abortion. Unprotected sex with the jerk who abandoned her (unconscious desire for a replacement baby?) Breaking up right after the abortion. The attempt to act like nothing happened, when in fact one is profoundly affected. The abortion always at the back of her mind.

It's all there.

This is one reason why sex before marriage is wrong. If two people are not committed to live together and have kids, it leads to the logic of abortion. It leads to one person wanting the kid, and the other not, and the logical conclusion to that is abortion.

You cannot tell me that she did not want that baby, in the beginning. They were enthusiastically getting ready. If she had had that baby as they had planned, I am certain that she would have been happy-- at least with the decision to have the baby.

And because they weren't committed--married--to begin with, and she ended up pregnant, she had to suffer the consequences. Perhaps the guy wasn't ready to have a kid. Then perhaps he shouldn't have gotten her pregnant. Perhaps he shouldn't have had sex. But because sex happened-- with or without contraception, it doesn't matter-- she had to reap the consequences of an abortion. Abortion seemed liked the only "logical" choice.

That's why sex before marriage is wrong. Because the marriage-- the commitment-- to stand by the woman protects the woman from being alone and feeling like she has to abort. If the boyfriend hadn't had cold feet, she would have had the baby.

It's normal for men to have cold feet in front of any major commitment. They feel the weight of responsibility. Sometimes the weight is from them being immature and feeling like they can't do it. Sometimes it's because they ARE mature and sense the gravity about what they're going to undertake, and it's scary.

Marriage holds them to their commitment. It obliges them to smarten up-- if they're immature-- and to suck it up if they understand the importance of what they're doing.

You can't properly have children without a commitment. A woman can give birth, no doubt about it. But that's the harder way. The more convenient and practical way to have kids is to wait to have sex when you're married, when you both know you'll stick by each other; when you both know that kids will be welcomed.