Thursday, January 12, 2012

Men Unofficially Dating Women

He's like so many young men who are "just friends" with single, young women who believe the relationship might actually be going somewhere. At best, these guys are unwittingly part of a relationship that deceptively looks like a good deal for both parties. At worst, they’re willfully blind to the ways they feed a relationship that largely just benefits them.

If you're one of these guys, it’s time for a wake-up call. It’s time to recognize that there’s something more important at stake here than your convenient relationship with your friendgirl. What’s at stake is her heart.


Got a Friendgirl?

Perhaps you're uncertain whether your long-term, super-close female friend is a friendgirl. Read through the list below and see if any of it sounds familiar.

You might have a friendgirl if you're friends with a woman you never intend to marry and . . .

You know she’s interested, but you figure that as long as you don’t kiss her, she will understand that the relationship is platonic.

People ask if you're dating her, and you act surprised every time.

You've had to sheepishly explain that she's "like a sister" to you.

You think that defining the relationship means passively aggressively hinting that you’re not into her.

When she calls you, you hang out with her if it's convenient.

When you call her, she drops everything to be with you.

You justify continuing to hang out with her — despite being uninterested — because, well, you never know, maybe an attraction will eventually develop.

Does any of this sound uncomfortably familiar, men? Well, imagine how she feels reading it (that matters to you, right?).

The thing is, this article shouldn't be addressed to men.

It should be addressed to women. Women should be encouraged to distance themselves from these so-called friends, rather than keep acting like a substitute girlfriend.

I think platonic relationships between men and women are a minefield, especially in adolescence and early adulthood when relationship formation is expected.

H/T: Smart girls know better