Monday, February 20, 2012

Dear Gay Community This is Why People Hate You

You're welcome. *

For the benefit of those who do not read French: it's an op-ed by a young homosexual denouncing all the crap that goes on in the gay community.

I've translated the letter here:

Dear Gay Community, if you did not know it already, I am gay. It was with difficulty that, like many of you, I accepted this bitter reality in my youth. At least, to make me feel less alone, there was the gay community to welcome me. At least, that's what I thought.

I immediately realized that being different in a community that is already on the fringes is to be proscribed. Who would have thought that a community struggling for tolerance is, in fact, one of the most intolerant and close-minded concerning its own members? The labels and the stereotypes abound in industrial quantities.

Do not suffer the misfortune of being the least bit "effeminate" as a man, the attacks from certain homosexuals will be very scary. You must be masculine and virile-- in fact, I have never been witness to such machismo, as surprising as that may seem. The culture of virility, of muscle, of the masculine. The same reality prevails among lesbians-- the more feminine you are, the better you will fare.

They do not wish to be labelled as homosexuals, however, they are labellers without equal. In short, the more you look heterosexual, or should I say, the less you look too "homosexual", the better it is for you. Homophobia is closer to home than we think.

The repugnance against what is different does not stop there. Woe to you if you do not live up to the beauty standards of the gay community. It is not a big fan of fine and refined cuisine. It prefers fast and all-you-can-eat buffets, consumed rapidly and in large quantities. If you would like to integrate into this community, you must lose excess weight at the risk of being labelled fair livestock.
What's more, do not have the misfortune of being of a different origin. Often, you will hear some run off a list of ethnic groups that have no hope with them. Be caucasian or at least look close to one. This is what saved me. Do not confound this with racism, only with very selective preferences.

A community where getting old is the worse curse in life. Being a homosexual and more than 35 years of age is to automatically be an old pervert searching for immature youths to prey on.

A community where you are asked "top or bottom" even before you are asked your name. That's what's important, the rest is useless. Careful of your ego, you might think that you're only vulgar merchandise. Among a community of eternal hyper-hormonal adolescents, the rule is to collect one-night stands. We might think that after a certain age, maturity might prevail and change behaviour, but alas, you are wrong. The lack of respect towards their peers extends right into the bedroom.

Among homosexuals, we fight for marriage, but the majority have difficulty having a stable relationship of more than one year. Even more than a few months. A community where we hide our lack of substance by extravagant costumes, wigs and eye-catching colours. The more distracted a person is, the more the subterfuge worked. Must we parade for this so-called pride?

On the one hand, it is absolutely essential to never be ashamed of our identity as an individual person. On the other, I would never march in a parade for this community of which I am deeply ashamed.

The real question is to know whether the gay community truly exists. Among this rabble of whatever, it is legitimate to ask what unites us, apart from our sexual orientation. Maybe the lack of openness.

The xenophobia is subtle and only the most forewarned can discern it. Nothing to help all these young homosexuals searching for an identity who often turn to suicide to solve their angst. If only there existed a community that was more warm and welcoming to comfort them.

I suspect there are a lot of gays who feel this way, but won't express themselves because they feel isolated.

These I suspect are gays who just want to do their business and leave the gay identity politics crap behind.

* (Stealing a meme from Kathy Shaidle)