Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Why Dating is Better Than Courtship

A very thought-provoking article, even for people who've never really thought about it before:

The benefit of traditional dating is that the lack of exclusivity reduces temptation. It also helps young people find out who they are and who they are looking for faster.  Early marriage reduces the number of years a young person must resist sexual temptation through celibacy.

I am glad I met my husband long before I was exposed to ideas about courtship.

The idea of asking my dad to "court" me? That's just weird.

I never really "dated". Nobody "dated" in Quebec City when I was a kid. If two people were mutually interested in one another, they "went steady" (or in our lingo "They went out with each other"). When one person got sick of the other, they broke up.

I can see his point about how dating widely creates less temptation.

But honestly, sometimes you just meet the one, and you don't need several dates with other people to know it.

The intensity is already there.

I do think our society explore the idea of encouraging early marriage. I find that young people today experience this prolonged, unhealthy adolescence. People aren't ready for marriage at 21 because nobody prepares them for that kind of commitment. The expectation is that they're too immature, so nobody teaches them to be mature.

I think it's better to have kids, then worry about career. A woman has so much more energy and fertility at age 20.  When you decide you want to go back on the job market, and you have 2-3 kids, probably have a better idea of the job market, and a better idea of what you really want to do, and you're still young enough to do it.