Thursday, April 23, 2015

It Sucked to Be a Birth Mom

Mellific's Story:

The father refused to acknowledge me or the fact the baby was his, except later, to offer money for an abortion. He was the first in a long line of people who turned their backs on me. But he was far from the most painful. When I absolutely refused to have an abortion, I was turned over as a ward of the state and placed in foster care. My family, unsure how to handle my “situation” and to be honest, too embarrassed to deal with it, decided this would be best for all involved.
During my pregnancy I was on my own. I rode the bus several hours to my prenatal checkups where I was segregated along with the other teen moms. The visits were quick and clinical. No information was given to me. No printed out sonogram pictures. I don’t even recall receiving a smile from the doctors or staff. It was uncomfortable and humiliating.
When I began to show, my friends stopped calling me to hang out. My foster sisters were taken out in public, on outings, and to church while I was asked to remain at home.
So here I was, 13, alone, pregnant, and afraid, and I had no one I could turn to. I believed with my whole being I was doing the right thing, but everywhere I turned I was treated as an embarrassment, a pariah.

Disclaimer: I don't know how long ago this was, or how reflective it is of anybody's experience today.

Sometimes I think the pro-life movement is so anxious for women to choose adoption instead of abortion that they want to portray adoption in a rosy light.

The reality is that being for nine months and giving one's baby away sucks. There can be emotional repercussions. And while adoption is definitely superior to abortion, I think we should encourage moms to raise their children, where possible. Mothers and babies were not meant to be separated.